Halloween 2022: Choose Your Spooky Outcome: Chapter 10
For no perceivable reason, you’re just plodding along instead of doing something with that key. Even as the strange sound of the terror draws closer, finally appearing in the distance. Though faint at first, it steadily becomes clearer, until you can at last recognize the shape of-
Wait… no fucking way.
“Yes fucking way! I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the sticky bud that burns ever bright. When the hour grows dark and the story grows bleak, that’s the cue for some comic relief!”
No. No! It doesn’t make any sense!
“Oh, and that’s a problem now? You didn’t mind when I was smoking magic substances without consequence, drinking more than any human could survive, or chatting with invisible-beings from another realm. Like it or lump it, a sudden inexplicable return fits the established canon of me doing the impossible. Inch by wacky-inch, I stole this mile.”
The sound, as it turns out, was made from a unique combination of items. An Infinite Beer Cup, turned upside down so the fluid is rocketing out in a torrent, has been rigged up onto the faintly familiar form of what was once a Steampunk Darkwing Duck costume before getting turned into a bong. Although the bong has once again changed purposes, with the constant gush of fluid blasting through it, shooting out the base. The entire thing is strapped to the back of a hoverboard, acting as a booster rocket for the pilot currently blazing over the sea of enemies.
Of all people, Jim is racing toward you, riding out of reach from the grasping hands below. “Lets get those arms up!”
Throwing your arms into the air, you feet finally start to slow as a new, more viable method of survival appears. Jim dips down in an arc, coming up on you at blistering speeds, catching your right arm and whipping you up onto the hoverboard with him.
Together, the two of you shoot down the rows of apartments, a stretch that seems to go on forever. Holding on tight, you lean forward, curiosity demanding answers even as relief at the momentary salvation rushes through you.
“What’s going on?”
“Little bit of callback, little bit of foreshadowing payoff, and most of all some good old narrative consequences,” Jim replies. “Whenever you had a real choice, you always stuck by your friends. That opened up enough wiggle room for me to return the favor.”
If he hadn’t produced a beer from his pocket and started drinking mid-sentence, you might have started to wonder if this was really Jim. He sounds about as nonsensical as you’d expect, just more authoritative about it.
“Jim… what is going on?” This time, there’s a noticeable hint of desperation to your voice.
He sighs, and takes a deeper sip of the beer. “While everything that’s happened has always been your choice, I’m sort of the force that set things in motion. That’s my actual deal. Some people call it chaos, but I prefer to think of it as impetus. Every story starts with an event going not as expected. I’m the finger that tips that first domino.”
A bump in the hoverboard forces you to grab his shoulders for stability. “So, wait, are you human?”
“Physically, depends on the moment in question,” Jim replies. “But in a more cosmic sense, definitely not.”
“Then what are you?”
“Same thing I’ve consistently been for a very long time: your roommate and best friend.” Jim takes a wide turn, swinging wide and spraying beer from the contraption on the back all over the street.
It might be your imagination, but the apartment buildings seem to be getting less dense. Slowly, they’re thinning out, becoming more scattered. As they part, you see glimpses of other terrains in the far distance, luxurious skyscrapers, beachside villas, even what sure looks like a base on the moon.
“Victoria pitched the idea that I was resetting more than just short-term deaths, she thought I might be going all the way back and reliving these whole past ten years over and over.” Staring at the moon base, you then tilt your head back to the rear horizon, which is still moving steadily closer. “It went further than just a decade, didn’t it?”
“All I can say to that is to trust your hunches.” Jim’s board starts to descend as a new structure comes into view. A massive cube of stone jutting out from the ground, gray and foreboding. Reaching back, he changes the angle of the Infinite Beer Cup, weakening then cutting off the stream entirely.
The two of you drift to the ground slowly, with plenty of time to hop off. Though you covered such massive stretches of ground, the dim roar of an approaching army can still be heard giving chase. Looking to Jim for guidance, you instead find him staring expectantly at you.
“This is what you were running to reach. The true heart of this place. Inside is what you’ve been looking for: the chance for a real future.”
Giving him a nod, you face the cube, finding no visible doorways or windows. Your hand lifts the EverKey, but Jim shakes his head. “Not yet. This is a different kind of lock, one opened by truth. A truth you have to face before we can move any further forward.”
“Okay, lay it on me.” You close your eyes and brace for the worst, instead getting a splash of beer across the face. Re-opening your eyes, you find Jim taking a healthy chug from the Infinite Beer Cup.
“Sorry pal, some locks have to be opened personally. You’ve gotten all the hints you needed tonight to figure it out. I believe in you.” After one more big swig, Jim starts to recite a familiar rhyme.
“One of these things is not like the others. One of these things is wrong. One of these things is not like the others. And you’ve known it all along.”
What Is The Answer?