Partying As You Age

                With this week’s blog falling on a nice middle ground between my birthday and Saint Patrick’s Day, it seemed like as good an opportunity to address one of the inevitable hurdles of growing older: you can’t go as hard as you once did. Yes, while raging until 3 a.m. then strolling into work at 7 with a smile in place was very much a manageable trick to pull off in youth, with every passing year the power wanes. Consider this either a look ahead into what awaits, or a moment of commiseration with someone else feeling the effects of age. 

The Tolls Get Higher

                There was a time when I legitimately didn’t get hangovers. Granted that was almost exclusively just college, soon after full-immunity vanished, yet the fact remains there was a time I could drink until dawn with nary a single side-effect through the day. That is a very distant past memory, though. In my mid-20s, the hangover became a real part of the drinking equation that had to be considered. Nowadays, it’s a genuine motivator to watch how much I have and try to mitigate as much damage as possible with water, because these bad boys can lay you down. A multi-day hangover isn’t unheard of, and those are exactly as much fun as you might imagine.

                Drinking and hangovers are just one example, mind you. There’s also the pain in older limbs from too much activity, higher chances of injury since you’re now doing dumb shit without the durability of youth as an armor, heartburn from culinary indulgence, exhaustion from skipping sleep, the list goes on for much longer than you wish it did.

                Now, that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t do those things, only that there is an associated toll on your body for them. What tolls you’re willing to pay, and how often, become strong factors in the activity of your social life. Back-to-back party nights turn into a trial of endurance, rather than an endless weekend. You can definitely still go out and have fun, it just becomes prudent to leave yourself some recovery time afterwards. 

Ideal Venues Change

                In college, my perfect bars/clubs were slammed with people, had cheap drinks on special, and fun music for potential dancing. Fast forward a few years, and I’d shifted more to quieter bars, where it was possible to actually hear the people I was talking with. Bump it forward a few more years, and the move became to gather at someone’s place for a while, then make trips out to bars as energy and opportunity allowed. At this point, my favorite “party” events are smaller gatherings with lots of close friends, the last few years have featured a heavy emphasis on board games especially, since those are a fun activity that still allows for socialization.

                That may or may not have captured the same beats of your own experience, but whatever yours is, I have a hunch it is punctuated by change. New venues, new features you prized, places that better reflected who you were in that moment. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s entirely natural. As we change, so too do the things that give us the most joy. Tree houses and pogs were once huge elements of my life when I was a kid, and while tree houses do still rule, my giant body isn’t trying to stuff itself into any. Just because you’ve become an adult doesn’t mean you’re done growing and changing.

                For the most part, this happens naturally as your own tastes change. The thing to watch out for here is the sense of what you “should” be doing. Sometimes, folks get stuck in the ideas of where they should be rather than where they find the most fun, see almost every expensive/trendy club as an example. Their habits will persist even after the joy is gone. These are the friends who insist on steering outings toward venues better left in the past, even though they get no more enjoyment out of it than anyone else, clinging to what’s familiar rather than exploring fresh things they might like.

                Keep an open mind to new options as you age, and don’t forget to revisit spots you might have considered a poor fit in youth. Much like with food, what was terrible to you ten years ago might now be a new personal favorite.

“Partying” Gets Redefined

                We sort of saw this already with my venues example. Young Drew considered it a party if there was noise, drinks, and fun, regardless of location. Mid-20’s Drew took “noise” out of there and replaced it with “comfort.” By the time I hit 30s, “drinks” turned into “refreshments”. What will it be in ten years? I genuinely have no idea.

                One of the freedoms of aging, at least for me, has been breaking free of any sense of social expectations. I’m not cool, nor hip, nor certainly trendy, and in truth I never really have been. Only now, I have zero shits to give on that topic. Not to say I was somehow above it, I endured the social trials seeking popularity like everyone else. But once you reach the point where it’s virtually impossible to ever be hip again, you realize how much more fun there is to be had by chasing only what you actually like.

                There are a lot of negatives to aging, however that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. For as much I dislike the grumpy joints and easy heartburn, a lot can be said for living life on your own terms. A party can be having several close friends over to play dominoes, or go for a walk, or even just mock some awful movies together. Or, you can go hard, drink all night, and deal with the higher tolls in the morning. There isn’t a wrong way to party, only what rocks for you.